A marvelling discovery

In the time of yore
I was born without complications
except that I was whimsical...
well but usual na

Flapping happy wings
looking forward to
the reverse journey onward -
from without to within
promised by my Time machine

Vein by vein I uncovered
First - the happy polka-dotted clown
the public image
How I laughed at the sad jester!

Second - the footloose girlie
in a casual bermuda with
sunshine exuberance -
every bit the adventurous traveller.
A few had the club memebership here.
Hmmm... I did have a zest for life.

Reaching deeper down
the quicksands were tricky
Murkier... I saw me in
my 'typical' garb calling attention
to the lack of attention paid...
with a farway look in my eyes
that I didn't recognise

My happy feet were extinct appendages
and the funny clown was a
practical joke I played on me and the world.

In my bid to keep pace with my love
I had scaled new heights...
transforming from feet up
into a mermaid... struggling but
willing to swim through abyss (strangely it means depth too)
a dangerous depth with fear of losing self.

Slowly, and gradually he swam out
and I remained where I was
deluded and lonely...
Concealed in the annals of my own life

Time for fun again...
From within to without
I pull out the bermuda and
the polka-dotted disguise
On the beachside, I narrate
'happily ever after' tales
to people like me who seek
completeness in other's story
who return to shores with
a sad glint of being unloved by love...