Approaching End

The bilious taste
gave me a pukish feel...
I could sense the dirty yellowish-green
all inside in full glory

Yuck! I feared this all along
and bang its on my face...
dripping dirty droplets
It couldn't be me
could it?
Throat in finger
I drew blood... which soothed
the burning insides.

The alarm set years ago
had gone off.
The final journey awaited me.
Hung my boots after
the long worthless stint.

Now that bitterness tingled
in every tiny vein -
no antidote
(strange na... once he had called me his antidote)
could do much...

A bitter laughter and
a twisted grimace - cheap substitute
for a smile - I walk
towards the beckoning waves
promising to turn me inside out
and reaching me to welcoming shores.

Deformed

In my veiled existence
I let go of the last bit
of me in me...

With nothing to offer
I hastily hide and rush for cover
to prevent any familiar gaze to rest
on my unrecognisable self...

Instead of the happy laughter lines
that I always dreamt of...
Failure wrote ugly wrinkles
and left a bitter twist

Then,
Tail tucked under,
Love-hungry stray that I am
I run salivating in my mad pursuit
Leaving a soon-to-be forgotten story
for the world...
Oblivious to the pain of my blood
watching me insanely detached from reality...
Cursed with self-imposed deformity for life.